A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
(On First Reading Harold Pinter)The neighbourhood. The houses of the poor,The dwellings of beliefs that fade away,Into a summers heat. An attics floor,A shade of blue to see the light of day.The...
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hi DutchThought the sonnet read well except for this line;The cats. They are Egyptians, and begI'm reading this as ...ARE/ e GYPT/ ians / and BEG-seem to be missing a stress, no?-so just wondered what...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Hi, BrokenSword,Thanx for reading and commenting. Yeah, read & see (about) Pinter. It's the most dismal poetry put on stage.About my cat walk. Funny, Tamara brought this up too. Must be my double...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Dutch--What happened to the rhyme for L. 11? Resorting to a slant rhyme for L. 9 was bad enough,given that there are no other slants in the piece, butL. 11 isn't even remotely a slant for "beg," not...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Hi'Gotcha!'I knew somebody would come up with it. (I almost feel like Columbo. LOL) Believe it or not: it's sheer intention. 'Death's indifference', you know. It's for effect. Thank you very...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Dutch--Not all intentions are good ones.The slant "beg" makes it seem that you're having difficultymaking the rhyme scheme work. When the rhyme schemecompletely falls apart in L. 11, the effect is one...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
HiMy Little Oxford Dictionary (I'm a very minor poet) gives for 'inept' the following most charming meanings:'out of place''absurd'So if the effect of Line 11 is one of 'ineptitude' it seems to match...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Dear Dutch,I've already commented on this on another board.Yes, there is the problem with beg, but you could reverse the words stalk and beg to beg and stalk. The cats. They are Egyptians, beg and...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Hi, Tamara,Thank you for your suggestions. But still - the way the quatrain turns out in your alternative version: no, it's too detrimental to content. (And it doesn't fit within the Spenserian rhyme...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Hello Dutch.I enjoyed this, but I don't know what happened to the rhyme scheme. In addition to Howard's point, the couplet doesn't rhyme.No doubt you'll fix it, or remove Spenserian from the...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
I will most certainly NOT remove 'Spenserian' from the title.In my couplet I have ASSONANCE: rhyme depending on similarity of vowel-sounds only. (Oxford Dictionary)Ergo: my couplet rhymes.'What...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
Far be it for me to criticize breaking form, but this discussion reminds me of a painting of a hat by Rene Magritte entitled, "This Is Not A Hat."So, let's call it a Dutch Spenserian and be done with...
View ArticleRe: A Spenserian Sonnet ('Final' Version)
I changed Line 11.It now ends with assonance - 'rhyme depending on similarity of vowel-sounds only'. (Oxford Dictionary)So the rhyme scheme of the Spenserian sonnet is now completely restored.End of...
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